An actual conversation:

Me: I don’t know how you are not watching the Royals right now, but in case you’re interested, it’s the top of the 8th, bases loaded, we just scored a run, and they’re changing pitchers.

Dad: I’ve watched way more baseball than you in my lifetime.

Me: Okay… Well, you do have a 30-year headstart.

Dad: But I like baseball more than you.

Me: Um, I don’t know, Dad.

Dad: And I like football more too.

Me: But I have season tickets…

Dad: But you’ve been to more soccer games than me. You can have soccer.

Me: And rugby?

Dad: Definitely, and rugby. That should equal basketball.

Me: Oh yeah, you get basketball.

Dad: And tennis? We can split tennis.

Me: I really don’t know what is happening here, Dad. Are we actually competing over who likes which sport more?

Dad: Ah! Golf.

Me: You get golf.

Dad: Yeah, I get golf.

Me: In fact, I might even give you football if you’ll take golf.