The subway train attacked me today. And I have the scars to prove it.

My Attacker

There are three kinds of subway cars currently in use within the Paris Metro system: the new style, the old style, and the not-so-old-but-not-so-new style (which are most prevalent at this time).

The New Style: The cars on the newest style of trains are all connected so you can walk the entire length of the train without opening a door. The doors to these trains are fully automated with no discernible manual mechanism for opening them. I’ve only seen these cars on a couple lines, and the conductors (if there are any – rumor says they’re automated) drive the trains as if they are being chased by Putin’s posse of fire-breathing salamanders.

The Old Style: The doors on the oldest style have metal latches that you have to pull up and to the right to open the doors. Watching first-timers try to figure out how to exit the train is a mild source of amusement – almost as funny as watching New Yorkers just stand at the closed door waiting for it to magically open on their behalf.

The Not-So-Old-But-Not-So-New Style: This is the culprit…the car with the green button. Seems simple, right? Push a button and the door opens. Except…in this instance, the button depressed wrong and snapped back, pinching my thumb nail between the button and the metal casing. OUCH! Looks like I’ll be sporting a purple nail for the next month or so, but at least I was able to disentangle myself before getting dragged along by the train…because that would have been embarrassing.